Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Why Do Good Guys Finish Last and Good Girls Like Bad Boys Research Paper

Why Do Good Guys Finish Last and Good Girls Like Bad Boys - Research Paper Example The Dark Triad personality is a highly visible, extroverted, charismatic, and antisocial personality that preys on normal people to feed their egotistical imbalances. This creates maladaptive relationships that cause great emotional pain and suffering long after the relationship is ended. Dark Triad personalities are particularly drawn to co-dependent personalities that take care of them and feed their egos. What the media glorifies as the most desirable type of partner is, in reality, a dysfunctional one. Healthy relationships that are emotionally fulfilling and long lasting depend on them being composed of healthy partners; not dysfunctional ones. Why Do Good Guys Finish Last and Good Girls Like Bad Boys It always seems like the good guys finish last and the good girls like the bad boys; why is that? Throughout history there are so many accounts of relationships where one was destructive and the other was nearly sainted. It’s often said that opposites attract, yet how is it that those opposites also nearly destroy each other in the relationship process? The dating process is aimed at bringing compatible people together, yet what often happens is that compatibility is based on something other than normal relations. The fact that good guys finish last is largely due to the fact that good girls like bad boys. What’s the attraction? What makes a nice girl choose someone who either cheats on her or hurts her in one way or another? Why do so many women put up with that? It almost seems like a nice guy can’t win. There is a term, the Dark Triad of Personality, (Paulhus, Williams, & Hare, 2002) that was created in the late 20th century to describe a group of three distinctly different, yet related personality traits Machiavellianism, narcissism, and subclinical psychopathy. All three are exploitative, short-term and socially negative. People with this personality triad are very attractive, charismatic people who, for some reason, never seem to la ck for either excitement, or someone to share it with. They are people who view the world in terms of how it benefits them, favoring immediate gratification over the sacrifice of waiting for long term gains. This relationship personality is described as having an arrogant and deceitful interpersonal style, deficient affective experience, and, impulsive and irresponsible behavioral style. (Jonason, Kavanaugh, 2010) Individuals who have the Dark Triad personality prefer a short-term style of relating; they keep people at an emotional distance through game playing and cerebral approach to personal relationships. The game playing approach is what is known as ludus; these relationships are marked by high turn over of partners; a cat and mouse kind of game. The pragma approach is a cerebral style where relationships are mind or head oriented instead of involving the heart. People in these kinds of relationships have limited abilities to show empathy; their emotional systems don’t p rocess the flow of the relationship. These relationships are superficial, often practical, and usually based on eros as opposed to agape. They are not long lasting, fulfilling relationships, just a means to an end. There is very little closeness, selflessness, or intimacy. It is thought these individuals experienced little empathy and caring, as well as having inconsistent early childhood interactions with caregivers. Twin studies have shown moderate-to-large inherited traits for both narcissism and psychopathy, and a smaller genetic influence on Machiavellianism; largely due to environmental factors. (Jonason & Kavanaugh, 2010) Numerous researchers have agreed that there are five common personality indicators through which all personalities can be described; they

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